ACT写作：ACT5-6分范文解析

　　ACT写作5分范文

　　观点和分析：5分

　　文章观点展开与论证支持：5分

　　文章组织：5分

　　语言应用和语法：5分

　　Begin WRITING TEST Here.

　　It is no secret that today’s workforce no longer consists entirely of people. Rather, machines are being developed to complete many of the tasks which humans have traditionally done. This can greatly increase productivity and efficiency of simple, repetitive tasks. Many people view this as a great positive and point out that it leads to a more uniform and less expensive product which is better for everyone. However, some people are more wary of this popular trend of automating the workforce and question whether this progress is truely positive. Their concerns, though, are outweighed by the benefits these machines offer.

　　It is the popular view among companies which are moving toward automation that robots can do many tasks better than humans. For example, in the automotive industry, most of a car’s individual components are manufactured by pre-programmed robots which have much greater and more precise output than would be possible for a human. In addition, robots cut down the cost of production by a considerable amount. If a company hires an employee to complete a simple task for $50,000 per year but could instead buy a machine for a one time purchase of $30,000, it is far more cost effective to buy the machine. Lower cost of production means that the goods produced can now be sold at a lower pricepoint which passes the savings on to the consumer. Companies producing goods rightly contend that the use of machines to complete low-skill jobs has only positive impact for everyone.

　　Beyond these benefits for industry, some believe that machines will shape the future for the human race. Innovation and invention of new more intelligent machines can push us as humans toward new, unimagined possibilities. For example, before the first airplane was invented, people could only dream of human flight, but at the moment of takeoff, a whole new world of unimaginable possibilities was suddenly within our grasp. Through even just that one invention, an entire multi-billion dollar a year industry was born, and our lives improved and advanced in a multitude of ways. Who can know what great advancements may be brought about by a more intelligent machine than what we possess today? The possibilities are endless.

　　There are those who are less enthusiastic about all this progress and advancement. They argue that by not having to interact with fellow humans, we no longer are required to be courteous and have tolerance for others. While this may be true, this is a minor cost for a major increase in efficiency. Take the example of self checkout systems in grocery stores. Self checkout permits consumers to procure their goods and get out of the store quickly. This might seem like a small time-saver, but considering how often this experience is repeated reveals a cumulative effect. Across time, consumers end up saving hours, which improves the efficiency of their daily lives, allowing them to spend time on things that are of greater interest and meaning to them.

　　Whether humans like it or not, machines are becoming more and popular in the workplace and are decreasing the need for humans to work those jobs. This can lead to advancement of society, a greater end product or service, and even a lower consumer cost of goods. Many people are frightened of change, but unfortunately for them, the past is gone and now we must look to the future.

　　得分解析

　　观点和分析：5分

　　有多样的观点，正反两方面分析充分到位，文章中，作者从对于工业的好处延伸到对于消费者的好处。在阐述反方观点时，作者提出智能机器在某些地方如杂货铺中减少了人与人之间的交流，但是也提出这也是一种好的现象，因为它更快捷便利了。作者通过阐述了这两个矛盾的观点，从而提升了文章的展开。

　　文章观点展开与论证支持：5分

　　全文主旨清晰。每段的论证过程逐步阐明了为什么作者认为智能机器的优点大于缺点。在阐述过程中，作者通过假设来回答了之前的问题，比如，当作者提到使用机器人大大地减少了货品的价格，她回答了人工售卖和低于人工售卖三分之一价格的机器售卖之间的关系。之后作者进一步阐明了机器售卖的物品价格将更低，消费者将是最终获益者。一步步通过严谨的论证来支持和展开观点。

　　文章组织：5分

　　文章结构合理。开头段中作者提出了总论点，且在下文中依次展开：作者首先描述了智能机器普及的好处，再逐步展开反方观点。文中适当地采用了过渡，使文章更流畅紧凑。

　　语言应用和语法：5分

　　用词准确，句子结构多变，观点表达清晰。文章整体风格中不同的修辞手法，更好地阐述了主题。

　　6分范文

　　观点和分析：6分

　　文章观点展开与论证支持：6分

　　文章组织：6分

　　语言应用和语法：6分

　　Begin WRITING TEST Here.

　　Advances in technology have become so widely accepted in today’s culture that very few people are willing to pause to consider the consequences. People get so excited about what new technologies can offer that they forget to question whether there might be any negative effects. Without caution and deliberation, replacing the natural with the mechanical would undoubtedly be disasterous.

　　The economic implications of the potential mechanical takeover alone should be enough to dissuade anyone from moving too fast. In the event the robots are more widely used in the workplace, humans would surely be replaced. At first, businesses would benefit from the efficiency of robots, but eventually a depressed job market would lead to a population that struggles just to feed themselves and their families, let alone purchase the products these robots make. In the long run, society will suffer if it does not take care to prevent the economic consequences of giving everything over to machines.

　　Our careless use of automation has already taken a toll on our culture. People have been interacting with automation in nearly every aspect of their lives, whether it be shopping, banking, or the use of a telephone. The effect of this is obvious: basic respect for our fellow man is all but absent today because of increased interaction with automation. Why treat a machine with kindness? It suffers no emotional or psychological damage. In a culture saturated with automation, we get used to treating machines rudely, and we begin to treat each other rudely. This of course leads to all sorts of issues, like intolerence and incivility, and in the long run, results in the complete degradation of culture.

　　Even in the face of these obstacles, some people argue that the increasing intelligence of today’s machines is a good thing. After all, machine power can decrease the human work load. Computer processers double in power and ability every year. Computers are projected to reach human intelligence by as soon as 2025. The implications of this shift are unknown, but one thing is for certain. We are moving into this change too fast to anticipate and prevent damage to the human species. We are approaching this change too quickly for any sort of safety net to be built. Because of this, it is important that we as a species slow down our technological development so that we might consider all the implications of a change this big. We must figure out how to handle negative societal and cultural consequences before we embrace total integration of automated, intelligent machines.

　　Decreasing the speed with which we incorporate mechanical influence is important because of the potential dangers that lurk in blind acceptance. Not only does the preference of the mechanical over the natural interfere with the job market and the economy, but its use also has the potential to seriously degrade our culture as a whole. In combination with the uncertainty surrounding the increasing intelligence of machines, it is most assuredly better for the human species that technological progress be slowed so that we can, if necessary, prevent additional damage.

　　得分解析

　　观点和分析：6分

　　作者通过文章全面而深刻地讨论了盲目放弃科技这个问题和引文的三个观点，文章提供了十分准确的论点：即使我们拒绝接受机器的普及，在我们思考怎么去利用智能机器时，我们依旧需要小心谨慎，因为它背后隐藏着危机。在阐述这个观点时，作者从经济和文化转化太快两个角度切入，深入展开了讨论。

　　文章观点展开与论证支持：6分

　　通过经济和文化两方面对于盲目使用智能机器的讨论，作者有效地展开了文章观点。通过假设的例子(In the event the robots are more widely used in the workplace) 和有效的论证(The implications of this shift are unknown, but one thing is for certain. We are moving into this change too fast to anticipate and prevent damage to the human species)，作者有效地阐述了它的重要性。最后一段通过讨论机器的优点和现在科技的成熟来阐述对于科技现代化的需要—当我们达到新的科技高度的时候，我们就更应该引起重视去如何应对潜在的一些后果。

　　文章组织：6分

　　文章结构连贯，中心思想明确。作者在讨论未来的经济后果到对于当前的文化情况到反对观点时，逻辑清楚。段落与段落之间过渡自然，体现了文章结构，(The economic implications of the potential mechanical takeover; Our careless use of automation has already taken a toll on our culture; Even in the face of these obstacles, some people argue that the increasing intelligence of today’s machines is a good thing)。段落中间的过渡起到了加强论证的效果(At first, but eventually, This of course, After all)。因此好的文章组织能有效地表达作者的论点。

　　语言应用和语法：6分

　　用词准确，(societal and cultural consequences, intolerence and incivility, emotional or psychological damage)，句子结构多变，少有语言错误，文章风格统一，词汇丰富多样，比如degrade, depressed, damage等。在最后一段中，作者使用了排比的句型，(We are, We are, We must)。这些修辞手法阐明了观点，极具说服力。

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