考官满分雅思作文9分结尾素材汇总

今天上海新航道雅思培训班小编选取了一个之前我们没有看过的题型“Is this a positive or negative development?”, 来看一下考官都是如何在安排框架结构的以及他的结尾方式。

 

IELTS Writing Task 2: positive or negative development?

If the question asks you 'Is this a positive or negative development?', you are being asked to give your opinion. Therefore, I consider this to be an "opinion" question, similar to the question 'To what extent do you agree or disagree?’

如果问题是问你“这是一个积极还是消极的发展?”，这就意味着你要给出自己的观点。因此，我将这类问题看做是观点类问题，同等于“在哪种程度上你同意不同意?”

Notice the use of the word 'or': positive or negative, agree or disagree. You are not being told to discuss the positives and negatives.

注意问题中使用的单词“or”: 积极还是消极，同意还是不同意。这个问题并不是让你去分别讨论积极的和消极的两方面。

Having said that, it is perfectly acceptable for you to write about both sides. For example, look at the following question and my introduction and conclusion below. Can you see how I give a clear answer that mentions both sides?

不得不说，如果你去写两个方面也是非常能够被接受的。比如，来看一下下面的问题以及我的开头段和结尾段。你可以看到对于提及双边观点时，我是如何在给一个清楚的答案么?

Question 问题:

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

有些学校将他们的一些学习资料放到网上，这样可以方便大家去学习。这是一个积极的转变还是消极的?

Introduction 开头段：

It is true that online courses are becoming a common feature of university education. Although there are some drawbacks of Internet-based learning, I would argue that there are far more benefits.

的确现在网上课程已经成为众多大学教育中非常普遍的一个现象。 虽然基于网络的学习存在很多的缺点，但是我也认为它会带来很多的优势。

Conclusion:

In conclusion, while I recognize the possible disadvantages of online learning, I consider this to be a positive development overall.

总结一下，虽然我意识到了在线学习所存在的那些缺陷，但是它总归是一个积极的发展。

看到这边，我们可以看到，其实考官的开头和结尾都非常的简练，甚至没有太多的废话。而往往我们在写作时，就开头至少会是非常庞大的一段。

同时，你有没有注意到，在这个问题的结尾中，考官都没有出现一些预测性的内容?

这又是为什么?来看一下，考官是如何在做解释的。

 

Students’ questions: conclusion and future prediction?

People often tell me that a teacher has advised them to include a "future prediction" sentence in the conclusion for writing task 2.

很多人经常告诉我说有老师建议他们要在Task 2大作文中增加一个“预测性”的内容在最后一段中。

Is this a good idea? My short answer is no, but I'll explain in detail.I used to give this advice myself when I first started teaching IELTS. A future prediction seems like a nice way to end an essay, and it gives you the chance to write a conditional sentence e.g. If more people do..... in the future, we will all…..

这是一个好主意么?我的回答很简单“当然不” ，但是我会给出我的具体解释。这也是我刚开始教雅思时给自己的建议。“未来预测”看起来是一个结束文章很好的方式，同时它也有机会让你用到一个条件句,比如：如果很多人在将来…,我们将会…。

However, I no longer give this advice. I now tell my students to write just one sentence for the conclusion, and there are two main reasons for this:

然而，现在我已经不再给出这样的建议，我会告诉我的学生，结论就一句话就够了，以下是两点原因：

Most questions don't ask for a future prediction, so there is a danger that the examiner will see your "future prediction" sentence as irrelevant. In other words, the examiner won't be impressed, and the sentence won't help your score.

很多问题并非问未来预测的内容，所以会有这样的危险就是考官可能会把你的这句“未来预测”的话作为与题目无关的内容处理。换句话说，考官并不会被这样的内容吸引，这句话也并不会帮助你去加分。

You'll waste time that you could have spent on your main body paragraphs. Or you could finish your essay and spend time checking it.

你也将会浪费时间，明明这些时间可以花在写主体段落上。或者你也可以将写这个句子的时间用来完成全文，同时还有时间去通读查阅一遍。

那么针对考官提出来的一句话的结尾究竟该怎么来写呢?

 

IELTS Writing Task 2: short, fast conclusions

It's nice to finish your essay with a conclusion, but I'd say that the conclusion is the least important part of your essay. Don't worry too much if you don't have time to write one; your main body paragraphs are much more important.

你的文章能有个结尾是一个很棒的事情，但是我也不得不说，结尾恰恰也是一篇文章中最不重要的东西。不用担心，如果你因为时间不够而没有写结尾，毕竟你的主体段落才是最重要的部分。

I advise people to write short, fast conclusions. Just paraphrase the overall answer that you gave in your introduction. For example:

我建议考生写简短，快速的结尾。无非就是转述下你在开头段给出的答案，比如：

My introduction 我的开头:

Businesses have always sought to make a profit, but it is becoming increasingly common to hear people talk about the social obligations that companies have. I completely agree with the idea that businesses should do more for society than simply make money.

My short, fast conclusion 简洁的结尾:

In conclusion, I believe that companies should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives.

现在你应该清楚了，针对于这种问题，它的写作方式以及开头结尾段的内容安排，接着来看一道相关的题目，参照下考官的9分作文是怎么写出来的。

IELTS Writing Task 2: 'positive or negative' essay

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

开头段：

It is true that online courses are becoming a common feature of university education. Although there are some drawbacks of Internet-based learning, I would argue that there are far more benefits.

主体段一：Drawbacks：

(观点句)The main drawback of the trend towards online university courses is that there is less direct interaction.

(解释)Students may not have the opportunity to engage face-to-face with their teachers, and will instead have to rely on written forms of communication. Similarly, students who study online do not come into direct contact with each other, and this could have a negative impact on peer support, discussion and exchange of ideas.

(举例)For example, whereas students on traditional courses can attend seminars and even discuss their subjects over coffee after lessons, online learners are restricted to chatting through website forum areas. These learners may also lack the motivation and element of competition that face-to-face group work brings.

主体段二： Benefits

(观点句)Despite the negatives mentioned above, I believe that online university courses are a positive development for various reasons.

(解释)Firstly, they allow learners to study in a flexible way, meaning that they can work whenever and wherever is convenient, and they can cover the material at their own pace. Secondly, the cost of a university education can be greatly reduced, while revenues for institutions may increase as more students can be taught.Finally, online learning offers open access to anybody who is willing to study, regardless of age, location, ability and background.

(举例)For example, my uncle, who is 65 years old, has recently enrolled on an online MBA course in a different country, which would have been impossible in the days before Internet-based education.

注：从考官的作文中可以看出，在写作中可以用个人举例

结论段

In conclusion, while I recognize the possible disadvantages of online learning, I consider it to be a positive development overall.

从这篇文章来看，考官用的表述和句式都是非常简单的。通篇看下来，无非也就是简单句、复合句、定语从句的反复使用。

但是也可以看到，考官在替换词方面的使用是非常灵活的。对于这一篇，出现最多的就是表示转折的连词，那么他就使用了多种方式：

Although, whereas, despite

这也是考官在自我点评这一篇文章时提到的一些点，我们来看一下。

IELTS Writing Task 2: essay analysis

Task response任务完成情况

If you look at the 'skeleton' of my essay (introduction, first sentence of each body paragraph, conclusion), you can see that I answer the question very clearly. Then, within the body paragraphs there are well-developed ideas to support my answer.

如果你看我的作文框架(开头段，主体段的开头句，结尾段)，你可以看到我的回答都非常简洁。在主体段中，又有非常完善的观点来支撑我的答案。

Coherence and cohesion

连贯性和衔接

I used my normal method: 4 paragraphs containing 13 sentences in total. The essay is easy to read because it is well organised and the ideas are developed in a very clear, logical way. Linking words (e.g. and, similarly, this, for example, mentioned above, firstly, secondly, finally, while, which) are used to connect ideas.

我用了很一般的方法：4段式，总共13句话。这篇作文很容易去读，因为整篇的结构组织的很好，每一点都是具体展开，同时清晰有逻辑性。连接词(比如：and, similarly, this, for example, mentioned above, firstly, secondly, finally, while, which )用来连接各个想法。 

Vocabulary词汇

I reviewed the good vocabulary in this lesson. Remember that your vocabulary score comes from your use of 'topic vocabulary', not linking words or phrases.

我复习了关于这一块内容的好的词汇。记住，你的单词分来自于你使用的话题词，并非连接词或者短语。

相关单词：

are becoming a common feature of 成为共同的特性

Internet-based learning 网络学习

less direct interaction 缺少直接互动

the opportunity to engage face-to-face with 有机会面对面。

rely on written forms of communication 基于书写方式的交流

come into direct contact with 直接接触

a negative impact on peer support 对同学间情谊带来不好的影响

chatting through website forum areas 通过网上论坛聊天

element of competition 竞争要素

study in a flexible way 灵活多样化的学习方式

cover the material at their own pace 包括了按他们自己速度来的教材

revenues for institutions 机构的收入

regardless of age, location, ability and background 无关年龄，地点，能力和背景

enrolled on an online MBA course 参与线上MBA课程

Grammar语法

The essay contains a mix of long and short sentences, and there are no mistakes. Remember: as soon as you use connecting words like and, while or which, you will automatically create compound or complex sentences, so there's no need to worry about "complex grammatical structures”.

这篇文章是一系列长短句的结合，并且没有语法错误。记住：只要你一用像“and”, “while”或者”which”这样的连接词，你就会自然而然的写出并列复合句或者复合句，所以你根本不需要去担心“复合句的句子结构”。

Okay~看到考官的文章写得这么简单，是不是很像试试，果断上题：

Scientists believe that in the near future cars will be driven by computers. What are the reasons behind it? Would it be a positive or negative development in your opinion?

每120分钟就有一名托福高分出自新航道雅思培训，选择上海新航道雅思培训班 ，您就是下一个高分榜样!

学雅思就来上海新航道雅思辅导班 ，我们给你!