雅思大作文5.5分范文解析:上班族缺乏锻炼

发布时间:2020-06-28 15:56

话题如下:

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many wokring people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

许多上班族在工作日或闲暇时间很少或根本不锻炼,结果导致健康问题。

为什么很多上班族没有得到足够的锻炼?

这个问题怎么办?

微信图片_20200622154411.png

高分范文推荐:

I agree, that many working people not get enough exercise, and than they have health problems. Now we can see a lot of people who have problem with weight. For example in America they have a big problem with this, but another side, they have a lot of fitness club, GYM, and it is cheep to go there. But must of them laizy to do something or they have a lot of work and have no time to practise sports I can't undertand it. I think it depends on lifestyle and person. Everywhere you have to work, sometimes on a two jobs, that have money for life, for your family. But you can see for example of the famous people. Everytime they thye are busy, but they find a time to practise sport. Not just famoust people, I said it depends on people. I used to practise soprt. It started when I was child and I try don't give up because I like it. I can don't go to the GYM, for example, one month, but after I can't sit on the one place and do nothing. I need it, I want to be tired. And now this is my lifestyle and I think, that I never give up. What can be done, that people start to do exercise? First you have to make yourself to do something. For example, do exercies in the morning, after You need to follow what you eat. Because now people like eating fast food, they have no time to cook at home, but it does not matter. And just one day stand up and go to the gym and start to practise. And everything will be okay!


考官评语:

考生回应了问题的两个部分,但是拓展不够充分。有些内容跑题。行文流畅度还可以,但是没有分段,否则分数会更高一点。使用了与话题相关的词汇,词汇量够用,如problem with weight, fitness club, GYM, practise sports,但一些简单的词汇存在拼写错误,如then错写成了than, cheap错写成了cheep, lazy错写成了laizy,famous错写成了famoust

。句子结构变化不多,大多数是短的简单句。使用了复杂句,错误较多,如I try don't give up, I can don't go to the GYM, make yourself to do something,这些错误造成读者理解困难。


重难点词汇:

lifestyle

释义

n.生活方式;

a hankering for a wealthy lifestyle

渴望过富裕生活

They lived a very lavish lifestyle .

他们过着挥霍无度的生活。

The school imposes a very regimented lifestyle on its students.

学校将非常死板的生活方式强加给学生。


practise

释义

vt.& vi.练习; 实习; 积极从事; 执业;

You need to practise every day.

你需要每天练习。

He ought to practise what he preaches.

他应该以身作则。

The ways in which solicitors practise are varied.

事务律师的从业方式是多种多样的。


famoust 

翻译:家族


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