2020年11月12日雅思大作文真题参考范文 | 努力重要，还是运气重要？

每场雅思考试之后，时间分享本场考试雅思A类大作文的范文权威解析。欢迎每周锁定。

本期作者：章 跃

2020年11月12日 雅思大作文题目：

Competitiveness is considered to be an important quality for people in many societies.

How does it affect individuals?

Is it a positive or negative trend?

高分范文及解析

01

Being competitive is an arguably desirable quality. It could go either way on both the individual level and the level of society.

解析

   * 开头段落可以三言两语就结束，有话留到body部分扯。

   * 遣词的时候，不要过度思考，意思到了就可以，加速写作过程，思考也留到body部分。

   * 造句的时候，不要贪恋长，还是那个原则：时间和脑力留在body部分用。

02

In the good way, competitiveness evokes one’s yearning for wealth and fame. Being competitive, the one is strong-willed, conscientious and resilient, thus having the traits crucial to achieving success. Also, the individual may be charismatic because he or she can imbue people with enthusiasm and energy. On the other hand, things may go the other way: not only does it plague an individual with desires that are beyond his or her ability, being competitive may also be unfavorable for having a rapport with other people. People usually prefer an amiable colleague or classmate, who is considered approachable and relaxing, and they are probably estranged from a competitive individual, who may be considered unfriendly and stressful.

解析

   * body部分的段回应个问题。

   * 遣词：动词和形容词是核心。本段中值得琢磨的词被标注出来了，看看是不是主要是动词和形容词。这两类词的表意功能(描述或评价)最强，是用词方面的关键。

   * 造句：句子形式的多样，主要状语的多样性(动词分词的前置或后置状语、状语从句)来实现。当然，也会有一个两个特殊句型(比如：倒装)。当然，也有定语的多样形式(从句、短语后置)。

   * 文脉：因为在开头段落讲到的两种情况(It could go either way)，所以本段的结构就可以很简单：分别讨论两种情况即可。注意：In the good way和On the other hand这两个短语很重要。它们是提示读者本段落的内容的切分的。这是常说的“逻辑连接词”，是评分的关键点之一。

03

Same as it is to an individual, competitiveness, on the scale of a society, can also be both advantageous and disadvantageous. On one hand, a society may therefore nurture acourageous and aspiring nation that may conquer any hardship. The Chinese are such a nation, a nation that never yields to any difficulties. Being competitive has got them out of so many predicaments throughout history. On the other hand, if competitiveness goes the other way and becomes excess. There can hardly be altruism in a society, and, instead, as to win is every individual’s only purpose, a society can be apathetic or even aggressive.

解析

   * body部分的第二段回应第二个问题。

   * 遣词：原则和道理同上一段。提醒注意：不要在没有评价或者描述的地方费脑筋用词。你以为考官会在意那些地方的词么?极大概率不会。

   * 造句：原则和道理同上一段。本段中，状语又有了与上一段不一样的形式(形容词短语前置、介宾短语插入)。

   * 文脉：本段同样分别讨论两种情况即可。注意：On one hand和On the other hand这两个短语很重要。更重要的是，本段的句是用来衔接本段和上一段的，那么Same as it is to an individual 这个短语就很重要：在结构和内容上起到串联上下文的作用，在语法现象上是状语的一种形式。

04

An individual can be driven by the desire to win and make accomplishments, or the individual gets trapped in the mindset and loses his or her calm. Likewise, this dichotomy also applies to societies.

解析

   * 结尾段落也可以三言两语就结束，笼统回应body部分提及的内容即可，避免啰嗦。